Circles

We face life everyday and find ourselves people that we love to talk to, to have coffee with, and people that we would love to spend our time with. Friends. That's what we call them.

Fitting into a circle had been a struggling part of most of my life phases. Found it hard to get along in a conversation, or even worse, to start one. I was totally an opposite of my brother who has always been a social person since the day he knew how to speak. He just knows every single person in my hometown and everyone happens to know him. Even an Indian driver he knew from God-knows-where would pass by our house and greet him from far. Visiting our cousins' house would be an enjoyful moment for him, but not for me. I rather sit in my corner and be near to my dad than being around them.

High school was not really a fun playground for me at the beginning when it comes to social life either. For the first 4 months in my boarding school I could not find myself even a single good friend. Especially for females, that was beyond pathetic. Confidence back then was the littlest thing that I possesed. Typical high school story indeed. Now that I think about it, it was noone's fault except for my own. It was a fool of me to have expected people would just open up their arms to new people as friends. That's when I realized, that fitting in takes effort.

Now that I have chosen to get involved with clubs and the community at Uni level, being a social butterfly is no more a necessity, but rather a needing skill. I really tried to overcome those fear of being rejected, fear of being misunderstood about, fear of people in general. It was hard at first, but I also knew that these could really be a great obstacle for me to do things that I wish to do later in life. I gained courage from somewhere I didn't even know myself. All I know is that I am much more comfortable to put myself out there than I used to be years ago. And this is by judging not from the number of people/friends I know, but more from the inner feeling that only myself can tell.

Always know how to bring yourself around. That's what I learned. Different group of people think differently and thus, act, say and expect different things from you. Satisfy, or at least, respect them. Even if that means by not being yourself. Maybe you wanna point out about hipocracy. But I say, that is definitely not the case. It doesn't mean you have to totally change who you are. You just need to know your limits. Never be too matured. Never be too immatured. Never be too serious. Never joke too much. That sort of things. It's always about your willingness to give and take. And sometimes, things like these can't really be well explained by words. It's better off learned by experience.

At some point, a great thing to discover is that it was never that difficult to be a friend to others. If you are sincere with what you do, people can see it right through and without you even noticing it, they will always come back for you. You don't have to try too hard to impress people. Neither to try to be accepted nor to fake anything. It came all naturally if you be nice to people and treat them well. Thus, talking from the other side of the view, we must never make it too hard for people to break in the circle. Noone's perfect and people have their flaws. So long as they don't go by the extreme, just be fair. We could never know people too well to judge them too much. Just remember how hard it was for you as well.

I thank God that I have great friends that I can turn to. They're the ones that make you laugh and they can also be the exact same one who make you cry. And that, is the one thing you must learn to tolerate about friendship.

change

"people change for two reasons:
they've learned enough that they want to,
or they've been hurt enough that they have to"

- a good friend of mine







p/s: iwishiwassomebodyelse

noises

Once, I was told to just follow my heart. doing things I wish to do, and not being afraid to be different. of course, not a bad kind of different. a good one. And that's what actually I believe in. So long as you know your boundaries, why care about what others might say? Cz what i can understand is that, the others can't accept the difference you bring, because they are too used to ordinaries.

Regardless of how right you feel about something, if others tell you the other thing, u'll tend to conform. I,... will tend to conform. and then only it occurs to me that if you are different, eventually the noises you heard from others about urself will take away the confidence you thought u have, bit by bit. unless you have a real hard head, you won't enjoy being a distinct invidual anymore.

All I am trying to say is that, if people disagree with you and tell you you should do things the other way, would you just play safe n conform, or would you just proceed with your business, hoping someday they would understand once they themselves be in your shoes.
after all, you can never satisfy everybody no matter how you wish you could.

should I, or shouldn't I ?

u know, more often than not, we do things that we know how truly wrong they are, but just do it anyway. talking in the same manner, we do nothing about something, dat we really need to do.
i mean, dat typical 'shud i or shudn't i' moments.

it is like u know ur closet can't seem to fit in for anymore stuff, n u hav a tight budget, but u still buy dat expensive dress u claim to be the one u have been wanting for.

it is like u know how important for u to watch after ur health, n cut on those cholesterol n fats, but u just continue ordering for those disgusting n extremely oily fried chicken anyway.

it is like u know dat the due is soon enough to be worried about, n everybody is already at their halfway in finishing those assigned projects, but u just let time passes by n get started only after noticing how huge the marks dat they weigh.

it is like u know u shud not include dat extra smiley at the end of the sentence, cz his reply later won't feel dat friendly after all. n dat cheesy message? u know it's a big no no. but u just send em regardless.


familiar huhh. often we are asked, "why wud u do that?". the answer dat wud most likely be given, "dunno. just can't help it". it is because in those things u have been doing, realise it or not, u feel some unexplained sense of happiness n u can actually do things any way differently but u don't. a good friend of mine once said, "stupidity is happiness". indeed.
cz we, humans are just plain stubborn.

Maal Hijrah - a delayed post

Maal Hijrah tiba lagi. apa yg nak dihijrahkan lagi di tahun baru nie? bila ingt2 balik, dah berapa kali dlm jangka hayat kita berkesempatan meraikannya. tp berapa bnyak kali sebenarnya kita betul2 berhijrah ke arah yg lebih baik?

HARTA
Bila kita ada rumah, dah cukup bersyukur. tambah2 yg ada rumah tersergam indah, alhamdulillah sgt. tapi dalam kita galak menjemput saudara mara, rakan sahabat dtg ke rumah, jgn kita lupa rumah kita yg lagi satu tu. iaitu rumah ALLAH yg sepatutnya, kita jaga & syg jauh lebih bnyak dr rumah sndr. sayangi rumah Allah bermakna pertama-tamanya, adalah dgn mgimarahkannya. kemudian, mestilah jaga dgn sebaik-baiknya dari kebersihan dan keceriaan. kalau rumah kita buruk, papa, tak kesahlah apa org nk kata. yg penting rumah Allah yg menjadi tanggungjawab kita tu terjaga.
seperkara lagi, harta kita yg ada. realitinya, segala barang kemas & duit yg beratus ribu dlm akaun bank tu belum tentu kita punya. barang kemas bila dipakai mungkin akan dicuri. sama jugak mcm duit. esok lusa mungkin kita berhadapan dgn saman sampai beratus ribu ringgit. tapi yg dah confirmed milik kita hanyalah sedekah jariah kita. pahala yg kita dapat dah sah2 milik kita. dgn izin ALLAH s.w.t.

KAWAN
orang kata kalau berkawan dgn tukang jual besi, bahangnya pasti akan kita rasa. dan kalau berkawan dgn tukang jual minyak wangi, kita juga akan tumpang bau harumnya. lumrah manusia. kita akan terpengaruh. sama ada dgn senang atau susah. so, kita kenalah pandai bwk diri. dan bijak memilih kawan.
Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w:
"tengoklah siapa jiran kamu sebelum kamu memilih rumah tempat tinggal kamu"
tapi kita lain. tgk rumah yg berkenan dulu. jiran tu nanti2 lah difikirkan. ngam x ngam belakang cerita. kalau sampai ke sudah x ngam, sebab tu lah kawasan kejiranan x harmoni.

DUNIA SEBAGAI HIASAN
Syaitan mmg x henti2 menghasut fikiran manusia. mereka akan menghiasi hal dunia dan memburukkan hal akhirat. contohnya, di waktu2 maghrib, walaupun dah azan, ramai yg ke pasar malam. tidak pulak ke surau/masjid. sbb di mata kita nie, pasar malam tu nmpak lagi hebat & menyeronokkan. lagi satu, mereka suka menghiasi waktu2 haram, dan memburukkan waktu2 halal. contoh, sebelum & selepas kahwin. sebelum kahwin, sanggup habis beratus-ratus kredit n bergayut tiap2 hari. kalau boleh, hari2 nak jumpa. kalau xda apa2 yg nk disembangkan pun, memang akan diusahakan utk cari topik. kuku org sebelah pun bolah jadi bahan. tapi kalau dah kahwin, susah nk communicate. kalau bwk kereta balik kampung tu, boleh kira berape kali bukak mulut.

DUNIA SEBELUM AKHIRAT
Jarang2 kita nk fikirkan psl akhirat sedangkan kita xtahu berapa lama tempoh yg Tuhan beri untuk hidup di dunia nie. teruk sungguh orang yg x ingat matinya akan tiba. tapi teruk lagi orang yg selalu sedar, tapi x buat apa2. selalu nak menafikan. "aahh lama lagi aku nak mati. sempat lagi bertaubat". dan selalu kita fikirkan, "eii sempitnya rumah aku nie. nk besarkan lah". tapi jarang pulak kita ingat betapa sempitnya kita di kubur nanti. selain drpd tu, selalu tak kita perasan? masjid dkat rumah kita tu besar. memang besar. tapi pengunjungnya? haihh. kdg2 bnyak lagi tiang dari orangnya.


p/s: bukan niat untuk menunjuk-nunjuk ilmu yg ada. hanya untuk peringatan bersama :)

my oink oink!

to my dearest and favourite person on earth,

HA HA happy birthday oink oink!!
on this very special day of urs, i'd like to thank you for EVERYTHING. terima kasih sebab:

1. selalu bwk balik easyway utk i eventho x dipesan
2. temankan i pegi class eventho u xphm sepatah haram ape lecturer i tu bebel
3. selalu amikkan laundry yg i sengaje tinggalkan so that u boleh
exercise sket turun naik tangga :)
4. lepas tu siap tlg lipatkan
5. jage i mase i teruk kena serang dgn bedbugs dulu
6. and mse i demam jugak
7. selalu keringkan rambut i and letak mosturizer sume cukup
8. dodoikan ble i xbuley tido
9. datang support i mase running for MSO eventho u dgn si momon gemok tu lah org yg paling xsuka i selalu dgn my MSO
9. basuhkan bekas makanan i after sahur
10. tlg "aiipp" kan dekat momon ble die buat hal
11. buatkan note gud luck everytime i ade test/exam
11. ...
12. ...
13. ...


123. and last but not least, for being the most awesome buddy anyone cud ever have!




p/s: yg in between tu bnyak sgt xlarat nk pikir n tulis.

God bless you bababeee~

results

I got a WD for Business and The Law. I swear I almost choked up after finding out what's a WD actually mean.
"the student did not complete one or more component of the course and the result is yet to be finalised"

I called the business school right after, n they told me to wait for a few days. ok fine. i waited, n next thing i know, it's been 2 weeks. I called them again n i was told to contact the lecturer incharged, Miss Leela. ok. did that. n thennn i was told to contact another lecturer Mr Bill Butcher since Miss Leela is out of office.

N here starts the emailing thread between me and Bill. I told him how i was confused with the result displayed because frankly speaking, i was confident that i did not screw up in anything. I told him hw i was worried for not being able to enroll for my other intended LEGT subjects. Luckily, this particular lecturer responded to me *snap. like that. he said he would be looking into this matter.

He then got back to me saying that i did not seem to hand in my first assignment and i did not fulfill the attendance as required. TEFAK! I even know my marks for that assignment. how could i possibly not hand in the task?? And regarding the attendance, i assured him that i NEVER skipped my tute classes. Of course. It was my favourite subject for God's sake. and i even did ask him to refer the matter to my tutor who happened to be my favourite tutor as well. (she has a little son who is soo adorable my Goddd i wanna kick dat little cute ass). ok back to business.

n yesss, all i was thinking at that very moment was, "oh noooooo don't say i hav to repeat dis subject once again".

after a lot of responds given by and to Bill for a few days, jusst this morning, he told me the good news. that my tutor has confirmed that i DID hand in my assignment, and DID attend all the tute classes. fuuhhhh!!! soo relieved. soo happy. I'm so glad that Bill had been very helpful in helping me dealing with dis. he was very concerned, he took it seriously and he took a prompt action towards this. and i cannot be more thankful to him. he even appologised to me for havin to bare a worrying wait because of some mistakes in the system.



and im just done with my enrollment. i kinda like my new timetable. teeheeee~